Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
