Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
