You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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