im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think I have vodka in my lungs
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
