Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
