What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
