How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
