Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
