I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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