If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
