That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
