So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
