Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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