We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
