For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
