So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
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