Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
