my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
