Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
