ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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