ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
