Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
