Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
