p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
