hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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