I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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