In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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