I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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