margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
ok first of all what the fuck
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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