I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
