whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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