I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
