if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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