well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
