i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize