Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
