His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize