apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
