I hope mine doesn't look like that
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
