yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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