why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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