be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
