Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
