That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
