I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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