Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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