she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
