Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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