walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
