The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Me too!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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