i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
