OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
