Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
