So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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