i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
