Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
