By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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