Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
