Im at strip club and am horny
i just wanna soil my oats bro
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
