Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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