I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
All I want is dick and wine.
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