Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
