Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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