Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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