Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
