once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize