I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
