I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
